Sunday, September 19, 2004

New Blog

http://www.jackcheng.com/blog
Update your links!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Fall Premieres, Part One

Ya know, I don't think I've ever been this excited about a new Television season. It's really given me something to look forward to on the weeknights. I'm flipping through this Entertainment Weekly Fall TV Preview issue and there's a lot of potential... and it's not all reality programming (yay!). There are a bunch of premieres still to come, but so far, Scrubs (go see Garden State while you're at it) and The Apprentice have been awesome as usual (I couldn't help but think of Tom Hanks in the movie Big in the first week's challenge). Mark Cuban's ripoff, The Benefactor is just fucking ridiculous. He kicked out three people on the first show for 1) calling his game stupid 2) refusing to play air guitar and 3) losing in a game of Jenga. I don't know what's worse, that or NBC's Father of the Pride, which has the LAMEST and UNFUNNIEST writing ever. Joey was decent. There's a lot of potential... Joey was my favorite character anyway, but to keep the show going, they're going to have to do a lot of character development. That's tough, cuz we already know Joey's character, and whenever he actually says something intelligible, it seems waaaay out of place. We'll see how the next few episodes turn out. I'm diggin' Jack and Bobby on the WB- the idea of watching a future president go through high school is really inspired (almost Smallville-like). The acting is great, and so are the characters. LAX had its moments, but it seemed like they pretty much covered everything that could go wrong in an airport with the first show(bomb threats, shady characters, drunken pilots, etc). I don't know what they were thinking when they decided to use Mr. Blue Sky (it was perfect for the VW commercial and the trailer for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (awesome awesome awesome movie (did I mention it was awesome?))) as the theme for the opening credits. It didn't fit AT ALL. A new episode of Scrubs is on tonight, and Smallville is next week. Good times!

Friday, September 10, 2004

We make little children cry.

Okay, I'm gonna try to start updating this thing more often. Work with me here... sometimes I have to be in the right mood to blog. New york was awesome, but too big of a topic to detail right now. So we'll save that for later.

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At interviews they ask "what's an example of a really ineffective ad?" I'd normally be at a loss for words because the ineffective ones are just so damn tough to remember.

However, the other day I saw a Comcast commercial that almost made me go into a murderous rampage.

It starts out with a father walking into his daughter's bedroom while she's sleeping. He reaches under her pillow and pulls out an envelope with the words "Tooth Fairy" written on it in crayons. He then slides a folded up dollar bill underneath the pillow and walks out of the room. Back in the kitchen, his wife is sorting through the mail. "This phone bill is outrageous!" She says. The dad stops for a second, then turns back around and goes into the daughter's room again. He reaches under the pillow and takes his dollar back.

That's not the worst part. This commercial comes on in the middle of the day. 11:30AM. On Cartoon Network. During Scooby-Doo.

If the message that Comcast was trying to send was "We make little children cry," then congratulations, you've done it you bastards. I can't wait for the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus versions.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

The Cookie Knows

I found a fortune cookie left over from last night's dinner out with the family, so I ate it. Then I spat out the little piece of paper that they stick in there for you to find (if only there was an easier way!) Anyway, the fortune reads...

A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life.
Lucky numbers 4, 6, 14, 18, 31, 36

A while ago, I landed an summer internship at an ad agency in New York (thanks to everyone for the help and support throught the process!), and I'm leavin' on a jet plane in just a day and a half - though I do know when I'll be back again (mid August)... I guess this gives me something else to look forward to ;-)

But seriously, I'm so excited! I'm going to be working directly with senior art directors, even if it turns out that I'm just getting coffee ;-). This is gonna be one hell of an experience. I really feel like it marks a turning point for me.

Cue the dramatic music.
Light a fucking candle.
Friday is the beginning of the rest of my life.

Oh, and if you win the lottery using the lucky numbers from my fortune cookie... you owe me another cookie.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Melatonin is the Shiznit

I've been trying to correct my sleep schedule lately, and lemme tell ya, melatonin supplements work like no other. I'm sleeping earlier and waking earlier too- and I don't feel tired during the day. One of the cool side effects is that I've been having more dreams lately, and they've been a lot more vivid too.

For instance, a couple nights ago, I was engaged in a spear battle in dark gothic building against a chick who was supposed to be on my side.. she had turned on me when this black blob (oh man, I almost typed "blog" instead of "blob") came up from the ground and consumed her. It was a pretty intense battle, and I was on the defensive for most of it, because I had to figure out a way to defeat her without killing her. She threw two spears at me- the first missed wide right, but with the second, I could see the tip of the spearhead coming right at my face. With great agility - and with my eyes closed both in the dream and literally - I dodged the second spear in the nick of time.

Then came time for me to attack. As she leaped into the air at me, I threw the shield in her direction. Of course, she was quick enough to avoid it, so I immediately tossed the spear at her left side. She avoided this too, but fell right into my trap. See, this shield I had wasn't just any old shield... it was more of a large metal frisbee, and as soon as she dodged the spear, the metal disc came back like a boomerang and knocked her unconscious. Victory!

Last night's dream was even more elaborate- it involved Kate Beckinsale (no, not in that way) and a Godzilla summoning by yours truly... but I don't have time to go into more detail... maybe some other day :)

Thursday, May 20, 2004

(Gr)ill Behavior

George Foreman might know how to box in a professional arena and raise children in his own image, but he doesn't know shit about product design.

His lean mean fat reducing grilling machine might seem like an innovative idea, but after the ooooohs and aaaahhhs of watching the fat trickle down into the plastic tray, what you're left is is a mediocre piece of equipment that needs some serious improvement.

My biggest complaint is the painful scalding that happens when you open the lid without an oven mit on. It was an absolutely brilliant idea putting the handle to the lid on the front edge of the grill, so when you lift it up the hot steam is there to great you like an ice cream truck on a hot summer day... except it's hot steam instead of sno-cones and it's really an ice cream truck OF PAIN.

So why not just put the handle on the top of the lid? Your hand isn't near where the steam comes up anymore. Problem solved. (Pardon my photoshoppery, this was a rush job with a mouse ;-))

Secondly, the meat products that you cook in the grill just don't come out that great. I want my steak slow-cooked to perfection, not sandwiched by two slabs of teflon only to watch the juices get drained out. Okay, so they're marketing it to people in a hurry... but honestly, who has a steak 'to go'? Broiling a steak in the toaster oven rack/pan might involve a little more work, and take a few more minutes, but it comes out much tastier.

Finally, while cleanup is pretty easy- just wipe it with a sponge, you do get a halo of splattered grease on the counter around the grill, which if gone untouched for an extended period of time, can be a pain in the ass.

I do use my Foreman grill a lot, mainly due to a lack of a decent toaster oven to broil the steak in (the one my roommate had last year kicked ass)... but if it ever broke, I probably wouldn't rebuy, let alone upgrade to a bigger one.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

New Record

Two updates in less than an hour... fancy that!

Well, this one's a link of a link of a link...

Grab A Book Game
Instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"The man drinks the wine down to his middle finger, and his face looks puffy with dark chin stubble."

- Diary by Chuck Palahniuk

Also, if you see cyn, tell her to get this book. That is all.

Three Sets of Ten

Okay, I haven't updated this thing in a while, but here goes...

Exactly two weeks and one day ago, I started getting off my skinny ass to go to the gym. And ya know, I'm really enjoying it. A combination of factors drove me to do it, but the final push came from a friend's advice. He pointed me toward a great resource and for that I am grateful. What used to be a chore is now the highlight of my morning. I feel great and I finally have structure in my week (and it's not dictated by what's on TV). I look forward to the pain, the soreness, and that twitch you get in your leg muscles after an intense series of leg workouts- yeah, the one that makes it tough to keep your foot steady on the car's accelerator during the drive back.

I'll spare you rest of the inspirational bullshit, and just say that if you set goals for yourself and aren't afraid to listen to others who have tread the same path, you can go a long way. Don't be afraid to get up from that computer chair... I'm not.